Jan - Is having a child with two parents necessarily harm reduction? My parents stayed together despite hating each otherr and living separate lives in the one house (one lived upstairs and the other down) and carrying on a protracted cold war which would occasionally becoming hot as it descended into a yelling match. I would argue that this staying together for the sake of the children caused me more harm than if they had separated.
As for your characterisation of male attitudes to women as 'damn whores or God's policemen' I would say that of course I would not want my sister, daughter etc. to become a sex worker or to be flimed in pornography but at the end of the day I can't control that and if that is a choice freely made (which unfortunately is mostly not the case - it is the coercive aspect of it rather than the shame aspect of it that to my mind is morally repugnant) then so be it. We certainly know that prohibition doesn't work - it increases the likelihood that the sex trade will be controlled by organised crime.
Fraz